more work on chapter 4

content/writing/meppa-4/index.md

@@ -11,30 +11,20 @@ showZenMode = true
 
 ## Chapter Four
 
-**Meppa** opened her eyes, she was in her bed. Its cozy warmth was calming, soothing the troubles of her mind. The warm
+**Meppa** opened her eyes, she was in her bed. Its cozy warmth was calming, soothing the troubles of her mind. The warm breeze blew in from her tent door. Had it all been a dream? She felt her neck where her wound had been. It was gone. A moment of confusion swept over **Meppa** as she tried to recount the last few days, but they were distant, almost dream like. Her sister **Dekkara** was suddenly standing in the doorway, with a smug grin. She said something, but **Meppa** could not make it out. She said something again, and it was incoherent mumbling.
-breeze blew in from her tent door. Had it all been a dream? She felt her neck where her wound had been. It was gone.
-A brief moment of confusion swept over **Meppa** as she tried to recount the last few days, but they seemed distant, 
-almost dream like. Her sister **Dekkara** was suddenly standing in the doorway, with a smug grin. She said something, but
-**Meppa** could not make it out. She said something again, and it was just mumbles.
 
-Then **Meppa** saw it, a horrible monster, prowling on all fours. It was lurking just outside the tent, the world had suddenly
+Then **Meppa** saw it, a horrible monster, prowling on all fours. It was lurking outside the tent, the world had suddenly been cast into darkness. Despite this, **Dekkara** was oblivious; could she not hear the horror just behind her. **Meppa** tried desperately to yell, to say anything to warn her sister. Nothing could exit her lips, her voice had gone. Only bubbles of air left her mouth. The beast crept slowly up on her sister, calculating each step. **Dekkara** said something else,
-been cast into darkness. Despite this, **Dekkara** was oblivious; could she not hear the horror just behind her. **Meppa**
-tried desperately to yell, to say anything to warn her sister. Nothing could exit her lips, her voice had gone. Only bubbles
-of air left her mouth. The beast crept slowly up on her sister, calculating each step. **Dekkara** said something else,
 but this time it was clear as day.
 
 "I'll see you soon."
 
 And then the beast leapt, grabbing **Dekkara** into its jaws.
 
-**Meppa** jolted awake, for a brief moment her entire body was completely numb, and then it hit. Burning searing pain
+**Meppa** jolted awake, for a moment her entire body was numb, and then it hit. A burning searing pain spread over her whole body. Her muscles ached, her lungs screamed in agony, and her head throbbed. She feebly attempted to lift her head to see her surroundings. She heard mumbling and the crackle of fire nearby. She soon realized her hands and feet were tied together.
-spread over her whole body. Her muscles ached, her lungs screamed in agony, and her head throbbed. She feebly attempted
-to lift her head to see her surroundings. She heard mumbling and the crackle of fire nearby. She soon realized her hands
-and feet were tied together.
 
 "A good catch that," said a voice.
 
 "Wonder what the town guard will pay for one of them lizards, it's been a while since I've seen one wander this far."
 
-**Meppa's** heart sank, who were her captors, were they **Tall Creatures**, what were their intentions with her? Her
+**Meppa's** heart sank, who were her captors, were they **Tall Creatures**, what were their intentions with her? Her mind raced in a panic. She desperately tried to struggle and free her hands but to no avail.
-mind raced in a panic. She desperately tried to struggle and free her hands but to no avail. 
+